Snakebit Tim

Being a lawyer is bad enough. Being a snakebit lawyer on the mends is tragic, or funny, or more, or less an interesting story of what its like to be the victim of a rattle snake bite

Sunday, September 10, 2006


The wind blew up the canyon on the 12th fairway of the Twin Warriors course so we bet a buck on longest drive. Ron won but only because I hit the long grass on the left edge of the fairway, just where I aimed. My hybrid caught in the grass on my second shot of the par 5 hole and I pulled it into a dry arroyo where I hoped to find my ball. As my brother says, you've got to have a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

I walked up and down the arroyo without luck and headed back to the cart for another ball. Ah heck, one more look won't hurt.....wrong. When I stepped back into the shaded sand, a lightening bolt of pain struck my left ankle. Glancing down as I jumped straight up about 3 feet, I saw her coiling and recoiling then I heard the proof, the distinct "Don't f with me" sound of the rattler rattling... oh my goodness, lets talk about pain, panic, self-recrimination, pain, and doing a not so rhythmic one footed jig.

"Calm down, get in the cart, let's go" from Professor Ron brought me back to earth. Back to the clubhouse we sped. Now here's where a little knowledge would have helped. To be a murderer, the snake venom needs an accomplice, a freaked out victim who takes the pain on a not so joyful ride to elevated heights where panic, anxiety, and irregular breathing have a multiplier effect. The trigger for the bark worse than the bite is not the searing pain which doesn't let up and seems to get worse, its the dreadful realization that she got me, she really got me good. (Now remind me to talk about why we think of snakes as males or is it just Western Society that's stuck in this anthropomorphic reverse chauvinism?)

Anyway, female rattlers are smaller than their male "counterparts." Here's what she looked like.

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